I cried laughing at this

I cried laughing at this

January 30, 2008, 11:36 am
Filed under: funny | Tags: eejits, funneh, quiz shows, television

It’s probably ancient and done the rounds many a-time but it’s a new one to me. Got it in a email this morning:

Here is a collection of trivia questions asked by Media personalities together with answers given by their quiz show contestants!

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE   (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant:  Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:  Where do  you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.BBC   NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a  worldwide  hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don’t know.
White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct.  And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant: Strong.  
White:  Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant:  Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?    

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant:  France.
Trelinski:   France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:  Sorry, I don’t know.  
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK   (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:-   Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their  experiences in what:-   Prison, or the Conservative Party?  
Contestant: The Conservative Party.  

BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For Pounds 10,  what is the nationality of the Pope?  
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber  Gascoigne: What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey?  

GWR FM  (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don’t know. I wasn’t watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM  (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The  …?
Caller: Mohicans.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)  
Phil: What’s 11 squared?
Contestant: I don’t know.
Phil: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?  

RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.  

RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie:   On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er .  .
Leslie: He makes bread  . . .
Contestant: Er . ..
Leslie: He makes cakes . . ..
Contestant:  Kipling Street?

LINCS FM   PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:  Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.

NATIONAL  LOTTERY  (BBC1)
Question: What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant:  The Pacific  

ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by  Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE   BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta ?.  

JAMES  O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called  Henry?
Contestant:  Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … er  … er … three?  

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller:  Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ….  Mexico?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC  RADIO  NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM’S  DRIVETIME (VIRGIN  RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:  Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?  
Contestant: No.  

PHIL  WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . .. .  
Wood: It’s got two syllables . . . Kor . . .  
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no.  The past participle of run . . .
Contestant:  (Silence)
Wood: OK, try  it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?    

THE VAULT
Melanie   Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.  

LUNCHTIME SHOW  (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:  Jewish.
Presenter: That’s close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE  AFTERNOON (BBC  RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant:  Jesus.

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