I should have been born blonde
December 11, 2008, 3:01 pm
Filed under: random | Tags: , ,

Then I would have had more fun and have an excuse for being so dizzy.
I kid of course; I could never be that dizzy.

All crappy jokes aside though – I do sometimes wonder if blondes really have more fun…

When I was four, my family moved to London. It was the eighties, and familiarly enough, there were no jobs in Ireland. Fortunately, I made friends quickly enough due to my quirky ‘Irishness’ that the other kids seemed to get a kick out of. Soon enough, I had a best pal called Elizabeth who had the most delightful Cockney accent you could imagine. Along with this, she had bright blue eyes, a button nose, an infectious smile and most importantly, two fat blonde pigtails. I adored her. She was good natured, a little shy, but with a cheeky giggle that always got me into trouble. I on the other hand, was pale, with dark brown eyes and a glossy but short black bob. Even at the ridiculously young age of four, I was jealous of Elizabeth’s colour and verve. So jealous that when I got a Barbie doll for my fifth birthday, I defiantly flushed her down the toilet in blonde rebellion. Even my doll that wet her knickers had yellow hair. If only they had Dora’s back then.

When my family moved back to Ireland, I joined a class with even more fair headed children. The popular (read: loudest) group were mostly of the blonde variety. None of them were particularly striking or extraordinarily pretty – no more than most of the other girls – but they had a confident air about them that all around were drawn to. You could hear their vivacious laughter from across the yard, long before you saw them coming. As we evolved in to secondary school students, the hair stayed the same while the laughter grew louder and sharper. I wasn’t envious as such, just curious of what made them so different from me – a quiet little thing who smoked in the toilets at lunch.

Now that I’m older, and moved on from hair colour obsessions (we hope), I still see in a lot of my blonde friends that spark of confidence that I’ve never had. That self knowing smile; the glint of mischief in their eyes.

Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I should blame my mother for cutting my hair short when I was little, when all the other girls had flowing curls and pretty red bows. Maybe I should blame the media.

Maybe I should stop being so dizzy.

5 Comments so far
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I’m a hair colour schizo as well. I’ve settled on blonde because it makes me look less like the undead without make-up, but I’m envious of dark hair, which always looks shinier and healthier and more natural.
Your story brought up horrible childhood memories. We headed for Australia during the (last) recession. My quirky Irishness did nothing for me socially and I spent the late eighties hanging out with a Japanese kid called Quentin. He had no English. Together we formed The Seal Club. We didn’t get the irony of the ‘club’ part, rather we spent lunch breaks tracing pictures of seals out of library books and being heckled by other children.

Comment by The Sexy Pedestrian

Know exactly what you mean! I am very dark-haired and very pale-faced. With some freckles during sunshine season (what’s that now?) – I even have the embarrassing rosey cheeks.

Hair so dark that if I even considered highlights I’d look silly.

Still tho, if you go to other countries you will find people who are mahoosively envious of the Oirish-Colleen-ness. I always felt like a pasty-faced twat until some summers abroad and the locals were oohing and ahhing over the non-conformity of looking natural.

So sod the “blondes have more fun” principle. Say it loud and say it proud, I’m brunette and I’m fcuking gorgeous!

(not really, but if I don’t tell myself that, who will?! hehe)

Comment by MJ

i’d love to have been born blonde too- or at least a mousey colour that I could get away with dying blonde. sadly i’m a redhead with redhead skin, I couldn’t get away with changing the colour. sigh.

Comment by red

Darlin you have the most enviable hair of anyone I know. I’ve heard girls envy it. As for the other I’ve seen people I know behave and be taken differently in blonde phases…

Comment by Rick O'Shea

I also envy all my friends with dark or red hair as it seemed, my light brown/mousey or “dirty blonde”/highlighted blonde mop always needs so much work dying, highlighting, shaping…it never had the natural shine of a dark haired person and I couldn’t add Auburn or Mulberry highlights. I was thinking of going dark! Don’t believe the hype that “blondes have more fun” it is a way to distract from all the blonde jokes.

Comment by Irish Mammy

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