Filed under: funny, random, weekend | Tags: album covers, february, funny, random
Yes, that is the worst post title in blogging history, I’m not afraid to say it.
But this is the best day of the year (so far) for several reasons:
1. I have been paid today
2. The new episode of LOST is downloading on my laptop at home for me to devour when I get home.
3. I have finally nearly paid off said laptop (wasn’t that expensive really, I’m just forgetful about paying things off sometimes. Probably not a good idea to lend me money).
4. It’s February!!!!! See ya next year January, don’t let the door hit ya on the way out!
As you can see, I’m easily pleased.
Aaaand, just to give this post an actual point – these are hilaryarse:
Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill, MA 34109 Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants. Sincerely, Chris L. Jensen
Got this in an email today. It’s ancient but still very very funny
Peter Kay One Liners
1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said ‘Thyroid problem?’
2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
3) I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don’t get on with my real ladder.
5) I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! >From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
8 ) My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
9) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’
11) If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither
14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don’t understand, such as working for a living.
15) I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
16) Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before
…another blog. And blog number 482 from me – I never manage to keep these things up.
But hey, it’s a new year and I got me a shiny new laptop for Christmas, and a pink one at that, so why not try again!
I’m going to kick it off with one of the funniest videos that I’ve seen in ages that I found on 2fm dj Rick O’Shea’s lovely blog