Internet relationships
October 30, 2008, 3:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

I fell in love on the internet last week. It was sudden and fast and left me breathless. I was only window shopping really, scrolling through countless mundane pictures, waiting for one to grab my attention when suddenly – a vision of beauty appeared on my screen. Dark, mysterious, with just enough personality to distinguish from the rest. My heart was stolen. 

I slipped out my credit card from its well worn purse pocket, and proceeded to enter my details. I couldn’t wait to rip that package open. 

This morning, I awoke to the sound of my porch door sliding closed with a heavy thud.  Giddy with glee, I leaped from the bed and scurried downstairs, wishing someone had turned the heat on as my toes hit the cold wooden floor. I rushed to open the front door and there it was. My beautiful dress all wrapped up in crinkled brown paper, and only missing the string for that element of perfection. 

I tore into the package, removing layer after layer of paper and sellotape to finally reveal the bundle of joy within. Finally, at this crucial last step, I removed the soft fabric from its surrounding tissue paper and laid it out on the table before me. It was as the picture described, a black floaty babydoll dress with intricate flowers sewn onto the bosom. Heaven. But wait… it looked somewhat shorter in real life. And wait… was it that wide on the model in the picture? She certainly didn’t look with child wearing it, but I had an annoying hunch that I would. Only one thing for it – up to the bedroom I go. 

It’s worse than I thought. I don’t just look like I’m pregnant with child – I look like I’m pregnant with four of them. And I also look like I’m working to pay the rent for these babies, if you know what I mean. I’m sorry beautiful dress, it’s back to the internet with you. 

Oh internet shopping, why must I fall for you everytime?

linkage 03.03.08
March 3, 2008, 2:33 pm
Filed under: interweb, tellyvision | Tags: , ,

I so didn’t realise it was the 3rd March already. Crazy.

 Anywhoo, linkage for today…..

21 year old fathers his seventh child

RIP King of Soho

The Rovers Return – coming to a street near you… (but only if you live in the UK. Boourns)

Will Ferrell drops the ball in Semi-Pro. Darn it.

Oprah’s big give

And just because they’re only gorrrrgess – here’s my 2 new fave girls from the new season of America’s Next Top Model (season 10, they’re a whole ‘cycle’ ahead over there)

Claire: (I have a bit of a girly crush on her)


Linkage 12.02.08
February 12, 2008, 9:57 am
Filed under: interweb, links | Tags: ,

The Slate’s brief history of pimping (the verb, that is)

Illegal downloaders in the UK could face ban…

Obama set to gain lead over Clinton

“Amy Winehouse shouldn’t have won…”

Atonement/Shameless (go wan) ride to star in new Dublin film… mebbe…

Linkage 31.01.08
January 31, 2008, 5:09 pm
Filed under: interweb, links, photography | Tags: , ,

Only a few hours of January left, yay!

Top Ten useless inventions – no inflatable dartboard though!

The Slate – ‘It’s time to drink toilet water’. Hmmm

Jeremy Beadles Top Ten Wind Ups

Why smart kids grow up dumb (apparently)

K8 the Gr8 goes ‘pop’ – so lovely

fly for free in the nuddy!

And just because I feel like it:
sad teddy

linkage 22.01.08
January 22, 2008, 1:58 pm
Filed under: interweb, links | Tags: ,

Cooking lessons to be compulsory in UK – I wish they’d made me!

Democrats use an Old West tiebreaker to settle tied votes in two Nevada caucuses – a pack of cards.

Oh Amy, why don’t you have some sense?

Why Facebook is like Ikea…

Scientologist Suggests Barack Obama, Condi Rice and Al Sharpton Better Suited Sweeping Offices, Than Running For Them

Linkage 15.01.08
January 15, 2008, 1:17 pm
Filed under: funny, interweb, links, videos | Tags: , ,

NBC to make US version of Top Gear. Me no likey.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Slate Movie Club discuss the movies of 2007

Brit nominations – care?

Edible photos … sort of

Dr Phil Versus Britney

Ricky Gervais belatedly accepts his Golden Globe

A very very mean video… heh

Linkage 10.01.08
January 10, 2008, 1:04 pm
Filed under: interweb, links | Tags: , , ,

Dr Phil betrays Britney’s trust

Canadian drug victim sues the dealer that put her in a coma – Nice

Men take friend’s CORPSE to cash in cheque

2 and a half bottles of wine a week can save your life! Me likey!

Linkage 09.01.08
January 9, 2008, 1:54 pm
Filed under: interweb, links | Tags: , , ,

Dress your age, not your size

Alexa Chung – she’s purty

Are we all to blame for Britney?

No plans to make Maddie movie

Pet perfumes at

What is a primary? explains.

thank you stumbleupon…
January 8, 2008, 8:32 pm
Filed under: interweb, muzac | Tags: , ,

for this handy site

It’s like internet radio but it throws up a choice of different songs at you depending what mood you’re in, what tempo you want and what music genres you like. i’m listening to the Dubliners right now, happy days.

On the bad side, the sound quality is very dodge unless you want to register for a premium account which is about 4 dollahs. It’s handy for listening to music in work though.

January 7, 2008, 1:39 pm
Filed under: interweb, links | Tags: , , ,

Jeremy Clarkson publishes  own bank details and loses money shocker

Michael Stipe Hearts Huckabee

Missing backpackers body is found

Dr Phil visits Britney

50 reasons why you’re still single